How to Feel Amazing When the World Isn’t Helping

Hello, tender friends!

My precious darling came home from school last week with a bruise on his forehead. When I asked about it, he told me that a boy pushed him so hard at recess that he bruised it on the slide.

He said, “And mommy, it wasn’t an accident. He did it on purpose. He also hits a lot of girls. And I was just trying to walk by him and I wasn’t doing anything, but he pushed me because he was mad at someone else.”

I emailed his teacher with a photo of the bruise to ask if she had seen it on his forehead and to request that she document it. She said that she had seen it but didn’t realize it happened during recess… a week after I contacted her. My request for documentation went unaddressed.

So what do we do in this kind of world? As moms, we strive to make the world as fair as it can be within our power. We try to make discipline calm and biblical. We try to instill good values in our kids by following up on misbehavior and making sure that our own kids understand the connection between cause and effect.

As a former teacher, this experience has been disheartening. I know how hard teachers work, but I personally never let this kind of thing slide when I was in the classroom, and I never saw my colleagues let this kind of thing slide either.

Sadly, as time goes on, this is bound to happen more and more. So I’m working on emotional attunement within our power by reciting this mantra with him:

“Even though ____pushed me down on the slide, I’m still a good kid and a good friend.” (Yes, I realize that in a biblical sense none of us is good, but I’m not worried about that at this particular moment).

Teaching Jacob not to be hurt by the opinions and actions of others that are beyond our control is important to me. Even as an adult, I have struggled to not take it personally when I feel startled by someone’s unkindness. My general thoughts tend to be I don’t get why they’re doing that. I would never do that to them. What is wrong with me?

This mantra has helped me to blame myself less. When a man gestured rudely because I wasn’t driving fast enough the other day, I initially felt a familiar sting. What’s wrong with me? Then I stopped myself and said this:

Even though that man is angry and making a point of gesturing rudely at me, I’m a good person and his reaction isn’t my fault.

In the past, I would have carried guilt with me for a few days about the fact that my car is old and doesn’t go that fast, as if that fact makes me deserve a rude reaction when it actually doesn’t. I love my car even though it’s old, and I’m not planning on replacing it anytime soon. The approval of man is not a precondition of my worth. The Bible makes it clear that we are all made Worthy through Jesus.

Okay, tender friends, that’s all for today! I hope whatever your version of this mantra is helps you to feel your best this week when you’re around people who take their internal issues out on you.

Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for sharing!

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