The Lemonade I Make When My Heart Breaks

Hello, tender friends!

Guess who started school this past week?

Oh, and he already decided it’s not cool to pose with mom anymore.

In the words of the singer from The Script, “When a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even.”

On Jacob’s first day, the house was…quiet. I cried before he woke up and after I got him on the bus, but I kept up a brave face for him because I believe that moms set the emotional tone for experiences like the first day of school. I remained positive because I wanted him to get on the bus feeling positive.

Jacob is also a natural empath (maybe all kids are?) and I couldn’t send him off like this.

Is this current circumstance what I pictured?

No. I pictured having a house full of kids by this age. I pictured being able to hybrid school Jacob and engage him in enriching activities that I chose while rushing around to take care of our other kids.

That obviously hasn’t happened yet, so I’m focusing on 3 positives that have come out of the current circumstances. It’s better for me to keep my mind on these things. Here they are:

1. I’m able to work out in a way that I wouldn’t if I were caring for more kids. It takes time to recover from giving birth and breastfeeding depleted me badly with Jacob. Because we don’t currently have other kids, I’m able to take whatever classes I want at the gym. While I occasionally tweak my back and sustain other injuries, it’s not that big of a deal since I’m not pregnant and don’t have to worry about what exercises are or aren’t pregnancy safe.
2. I’m able to increase our income this year by working more hours since is in kindergarten. Did I get the job of my dreams? No. I’ve taken a job I didn’t want…at all…but at least I’ll be generating more income. I’ll have to make my own lemonade list for this job…maybe that will be a future post.
3. They say that every age of parenthood offers different benefits to the child. God must know that our future children needs some quality that Anthony and I wouldn’t develop until our 40s, and I’m praying that God will just make us the best parents for that particular child when the time comes.

So that’s that for now. Those are my silver linings.

That’s the lemonade I make.

Ok, that’s all for today, tender friends! Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for sharing.

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