Own the Vibe

Hello, tender friends!

I thought I was an expert at fitting in. One of the greatest compliments I ever received was people taking me for a Spaniard when I had lived in Spain for over a year. The common wisdom Europeans shared with me was that an accent is the last thing you lose when trying to assimilate. (I was initially taken for Swedish or northern French.)

I took it as a compliment. I wanted to know I could hide who I was to fit in. Fitting in with the crowd is so stupidly important when you’re young.

But things have changed over the past 16 years. I’ve fumbled around, wondering how to fit in since moving to the south.

I considered investing in floral dresses to fit in because southern women have an endless supply of them. But like I’ve said before, I just don’t spend money on myself the way that I did before becoming a mom.

I considered wearing tons of makeup like some southern women do, but I just can’t stand the toxicity of most makeup.

I considered pretending that I want to spend time with people when I really don’t. Some southern women do this in the name of politeness (ask me how I know, lol). But I couldn’t. I choked on the disingenuous nature of it all.

Then I had this breakthrough:

Own your vibe. Whatever that vibe is. Even if you think others won’t like it.

This was my vibe last week at church:

It’s a totally respectable church outfit, right? Here’s the thing: I’ve sometimes doubted my fashion selections since moving to the south because I’m more Manhattan than Brooklyn, more New York than Philly, and intractably more northern than southern. I have a few floral dresses that I love, but not a ton.

I decided to own the vibe anyway.

I decided I was happy with my vibe.

And 4 southerners complimented me on my outfit.

I’m not sure if they were all genuine, but it doesn’t matter. I was comfortable. I was me.

That’s all that matters.

Ok, that’s all for today, tender friends! Thank you for stopping by and thank you for sharing!

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