How Boo Boo Breaks My Heart

Hello, tender friends!

The earnest innocence of my little darling just breaks my heart.

Last week he said, “Mommy, we will always be together!” I thought he was saying it because of things he’s heard me say about how I wish we could always stay together and that I hope he still loves us when he’s a teenager.

“I hope so, Cubby. I hope that you always want to stay with me and Daddy because we will always want to stay with you,” I answered.

“For the next hundred years?” he pressed.

“Well, I want to live a really long time so that I can be with you. Daddy and I are doing everything we can to live as long as we can to take care of you.”

“And then what will happen?”

“You’ll probably live longer than me or daddy.”

Cubby paused, but he recovered immediately.

“That’s ok. Because then we’re going to go up to heaven to be with Jesus and we’ll see each other there.”

I sighed with relief that he came up with that faster than I could.

“Yes, Cubby, that’s right. We don’t have to be afraid of going to heaven because we’ll be with Jesus and each other when we get there.”

“Mommy, what will it be like there? Will there be a house for us?”

“Yes, Cubby, God tells us that there will be a house with many rooms for us and everyone else in heaven.”

He grabbed my hand and looked at me-his face a mixture of thought and slight concern.

“But mommy, how will I find you when I get there?”

I held back the urge to sob right in front of him. How fervently I wish I could keep his little hand clasped in mine forever.

I feel like it’s important that we, as parents, reassure him at these times. But the thought of leaving him is so unbearable, even if it’s after a long and full life. I have always feared death myself. I hope he’ll go through life with more peace and certainly than I’ve ever had.

I said, “I’m not sure if he sends angels or Jesus himself, but you don’t have to worry – he’ll know that we’re coming and he’ll send someone to make sure that we know where to find each other.”

I hugged him and he snuggled against me. I kissed his head, wondering how many years of baby soft hair I have left to kiss.

In between sobbing about this the last few days, I keep praying what I’ve prayed for years:

Lord, may all of our descendants be righteous and follow you all the days of their lives.

That’s all for today, tender friends! I couldn’t get a picture of my little boo boo today, but hopefully I’ll have one next week.

Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for sharing!

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