Go Hug Yourself!

Hello, tender friends!

No, I’m not mad, but this is my new phrase for when someone cuts me off while driving. If I understood how hashtags actually work, I’d say #gohugyourself.

I’ve been giving myself hugs for the past few weeks when I’m upset. Maybe that’s schmaltzy, but it turns out I like schmaltz. I then go over the top and validate my own feelings.

I know…you can think it- lame! I thought the same thing. But I’ve felt calmer and more present since beginning this practice. So it’s become one of my coping strategies for building emotional resilience, to add on to this link.

Did something unjust happen at work? Go hug yourself.

Did you and your spouse have a fight? Go hug yourself.

Did you experience sticker shock when you received a bill that was larger than you anticipated? Go hug yourself.

Let’s look at the fight with a spouse example more closely. Let’s say Anthony and I have a fight and I’ve prayed the Lord’s prayer but still feel…shall we say…heated by the injustice of it all. I then go somewhere private and hug myself.

Then I talk to myself like this: Me- I felt so frustrated that Anthony forgot to tell me he’s playing pickleball ball tonight.

Also me- Of course you’re frustrated that he forgot to tell you he’s playing pickleball tonight. Your family time is precious and limited. Feeling frustrated is totally natural.

*Please note that this is not to replace a conversation with God. Sometimes God surprises me and gives me a surprisingly clear answer during prayer, but there are many times when I don’t hear anything.

These examples are much more PG than our actual fights on purpose, but the methodology is the same. It turns out that when I talk to myself I see how reasonable I am!

Ok, I’m kidding…sort of. But the truth is that if you do this after hugging yourself, it’s actually healing. In this example, I’m more ready to listen to Anthony’s side of a fight once I’ve validated my own feelings. I’m also more able to find a gentle word to turn away wrath (Proverbs 15:1)

Ok, that’s all for today, tender friends! I’ll release the third and final installment on self-compassion on Monday. Thursday’s post will be a food post. Thank you for hanging in there if you’ve been waiting for a food post!

Thank you for sharing!

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