Hello, tender friends!
What are you calling in to being?
Proverbs tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue. God himself brought the universe into existence with the word. The power of language is evident in the Bible.
What are you speaking over yourself? What may have been spoken over you that took you on a detour away from your truest bliss growing up?
We’re so vulnerable as kids, aren’t we? So many adults take control of us, afraid of what we might discover if we connect to our own power.
And yet, I believe God wants us to harness that power.
If you’re new to this blog, I release a spiritual lesson that God showed me in the midst of illness as I have the emotional capacity and feel led to do so. If you’ve ever wondered why I don’t just write down all these moments at once, it’s because I need to pace myself, and because I typically get some confirmation for when the time is right from God.
Talking to a friend of mine last week about both of her parents being sick, I got that confirmation. I shared this story with her, and I knew that it was time to release to the world when I started crying while doing so. (The Holy Spirit always makes me cry, but not in a bad way).
This is what happened:
I was in bed, alone, crying out to God in the dark. I’ll do anything to get better. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.
I got up and found an ice pack. I was still heavily bruising at this time and was hoping that I’d be able to get to sleep if I put an ice pack on my throbbing legs to soothe the swelling.
I laid back down with the ice pack and asked the same thing again. Then Yahweh said, “Do nothing. You’re already healed.”
Even though I know God reads our thoughts, I was only thinking this, not actually saying it to God. This is what I thought but dared not say because I didn’t want to seem like I was challenging Him:
Already healed? How? Do you see the skin peeling off of my body, like sheets of glue? Do you see the bruises covering me? Do you see how all I wear is athletic clothing because any other clothing touching my body causes me pain? Did you see me fall down on my way to the garden, unable to maintain my own balance while trying to teach my own child to walk?
But I clung to the word and twirled it around in my mind, wondering how it could be true. God doesn’t lie, so what was going on? Did I really hear what I thought I heard?
But that was the only word that I got that night. So I started telling people I was well. When people commented on my heavy bruising, I said that I had tripped or bumped into something. When people asked how I was feeling, I said that I felt fine even while holding back tears. When my best friend, with whom I had shared all of the details knowing she was the one person who wouldn’t judge me, texted, “How are you today?” I said that I had begun healing and had stopped bruising.
I didn’t have a sweeping moment in which God told me that He was pleased with me, but rather a gradual understanding at the cellular level that what I was said was becoming true in my human understanding of time.
It seems important that I confess to you that I couldn’t sit and “do nothing.” I have thought about this over and over, wondering if the fact that I began to work with an herbalist was a form of disobedience. If my faith had been stronger, if I had been able to take God fully at his word, I think I would have actually not done any treatment. I would have stood on what God said, and maybe there would have been a bigger blessing. I really don’t know.
But I think that confession points to God’s mercy. I didn’t do everything perfectly, and God still allowed me to heal. He could have taken me out at any moment. That’s His right as the creator of the universe. But He didn’t.
He worked with me and in spite of me because that’s just how He is. So many times, when I catch myself being graceless, I remember how he never punished me when I was the worst version of myself.
Because I was terrified of God taking me out as a punishment, I’m sharing this element of the story to give hope to people who may have the same doubts.
Your faith doesn’t have to be perfect to receive the miracle of healing against the odds. Your understanding of scripture doesn’t have to be perfect. Your record of service doesn’t have to be perfect.
Nothing about you has to be perfect if your faith is in the ONE who is perfect.
If anyone reading this believes they don’t “deserve” healing, I have prayed for you. From what I know so far, God lavishes us abundantly with blessings none of us deserve, and I believe there’s at least someone out there who needs to hear this: your healing will be no different.
Ok, that’s all for today. Thank you for stopping by, tender friends! I’ll be sharing about the recent ministry event I attended at church on Monday, and then release another garden delight next Thursday.
Thank you for sharing!
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