How The Lord’s prayer Helped Me Begin Healing+4 Lessons

Hello tender friends!

This is a tough post today.

Why doesn’t God heal everyone? Why do some people, even those strong in the faith who stand firmly on his Word, not get their healing?

When going through my health struggles after Jacob’s birth (I normally refer to him as Cub, but his full name is Jacob), I was terrified of being one of those people. I’d watched someone who I perceived as far stronger in the faith than I am buried before her time years earlier. What hope did I have if God didn’t save her?

I have since found comfort in this verse, but I didn’t want it to apply to me.

Some favorite Christian phrases didn’t help matters. Christians are fond of saying, “You can’t treat God like a vending machine.”

When someone said that to me during this period, probably without much thought, I allowed to damage me. I became so paranoid that asking God for healing was wrong or sinful because I was “using God as a vending machine” that I stopped asking for it. I became paralyzed by fear of offending God by asking for healing.

I ran through the past years of my life, desperate to figure out how I was using him as a vending machine. Just tell me what to do differently! I begged God.

I didn’t realize that this was something Christians say, and that it wasn’t necessarily true for me personally. I took the words as proof that I deserved the misery I was in for the sin of treating God like a vending machine.

I concluded that asking God for healing was a sin, that I was too focused on it, that wanting to remain alive to care for my newborn son was selfish.

Consequently, the only prayer that I felt comfortable praying was the Lord’s prayer because Jesus himself prayed it. I no longer trusted myself to come up with a prayer that was worthwhile. I was afraid that even my prayers were sinful.

Over and over, I prayed the Lord’s prayer until I got to “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Like a lightning bolt, Revelation 21:4 came to mind (He will wipe away every year from their eye, and there will be no more death…). In that moment, I knew that the Father wanted to take away my physical pain and heal me.

The law of syllogism came back to me from high school geometry and I reasoned: Praying The Lord’s prayer is what God wants. Jesus himself wanted the Father’s will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Revelation tells us that there will be no more weeping or pain or death in heaven. Continue praying The Lord’s prayer, as it is proof that God wants to heal you on this Earth.

God wasn’t mad at me for asking him to heal me. He wasn’t withholding healing because I was praying for it too much or too hard. He intended to heal me all along, and he illuminated my mind with this truth in that moment.

This was the most significant turning point in my healing. When I was scared that God might be mad at me and might not want to heal me, I wouldn’t allow myself to hope for healing because I felt like it might be disobedient. Now that I knew that God was for my healing, not against it, I was free to actually begin healing.

Why did it have to get so bad? Here are some of my takeaways. As always, take it to the Holy Spirit to see if any of it is applicable to you or not. As I’ve said before, I don’t necessarily believe that one person’s revelation is for everyone.

1. God wanted to show me that my prayers are powerful. The prayer of a righteous man availeth much, right? Well, ever since becoming Christian, I kept searching for people more righteous than I so that God would hear their prayers on my behalf. I thought that if I just found the right person at the right time, that person’s prayer would move the needle. I never believed that my own prayer could move the needle. I believed that I needed to have other people pray for me to heal because God wouldn’t do it if it was just me asking.
2. God was teaching me to stop taking the opinions of other people to heart. I struggled with obsessing over how I was perceived in all circumstances pretty much my whole life, as I’ve written about on here before. I even received prophecies from people who had no idea what was going on about how I cared too much about what people thought of me. However, I never knew how to let go of caring about what people thought of me. Well, God solved that problem for me. There’s nothing like your own possible death to get you to stop giving a crap about what people think about you. (At this time, the epithelial cells of my lungs were degraded and I was having trouble breathing. Gasping for breath made me panic, which made me grasp for breath more). I became free at last from the obsession with presenting a version of myself that would keep everyone happy. I realized for the first time in my life that it was okay to let them worry about their own happiness. (And yes, I have since read books about codependence).
3. Just because someone is a mature Christian does not mean that their word is Gospel. See, God gave us the actual gospel so we wouldn’t get confused about that. Sometimes I take even what Bible study instructors are saying to the gospel and draw a different conclusion from the teaching that’s presented. Rather than immediately dismiss my own conclusions and assume that I’m wrong, I consult with the Holy Spirit
4. As a follow up to number three, God has shown me that people that I respect who are well-grounded in the word and genuinely love God perpetuate ideas that aren’t actually biblical. Even the elect will be deceived, and I believe some of that deception has already begun.

I began to value and trust my own perceptions that night with God. Instead of dismissing feelings that something is off, I go to the Father.

I know that I can trust God to tell me when I’m off course. That doesn’t mean that I don’t believe God uses people to speak through them to me, because he does, and I’ve experienced that. But since that night, and in this particular season, I’m consulting with Abba himself.

As I’ve said before, I’m not a theologian, so feel free to say whatever you need to in the comments.

Ok, that’s all for today, tender friends. Thank you so much for stopping by, and have a great day!

To those of you who are new, thank you! Next week I will be posting about the marriage and family seminar we attended last weekend and Cub’s day at the theater!

Stay blessed, tender friends!

Thank you for sharing!

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