Hello, tender friends! This will be my last parenting post before diving into a special recipe on Thursday and then addressing how to do a water-only fast next week! I have other plans for some healing information that I’ll share next week as well.
Here goes.
We all know having a baby is hard, but I underestimated just how hard it would be. Here’s what I wish I’d known before actually giving birth. Really. It might have saved me some disillusionment. I’ve mostly used masculine pronouns with my son in mind.
- You will dream up ways for your baby to suffocate in his/her sleep that defy all laws of physics. Try not to let this control your life. I fell apart when a midwife told me that my pricey 100% organic bassinet was “not ideal.” It turned out to be totally safe…because newborns don’t actually just roll themselves over and smash their noses into the corner of a bassinet at night, but I lived in fear for months because of this.
2. When people say, “Get your sleep now,” try to listen. The idea that “babies sleep a lot” made me think I’d get more sleep once I gave birth and finally had an excuse to quit my job. (HAHAHAHA!) I never anticipated having to hold my baby upright for an hour after ever feeding to keep him from screaming bloody murder 3-4 times each night. I also never anticipated a baby that insisted sleeping with his ear next to my heart on my chest so that I couldn’t sleep myself.
3. Number 2 just made me miss my son sleeping like that as a newborn so hard that I’m tearing up now. Darn. Now I have to change the title and numbers.
4. Meat stock/Bone broth are amazing for healing after giving birth. They replenish bone density lost during childbirth and are far superior to any multivitamin I’ve ever tried for replacing lost nutrients. Because we moved when Cub was 5 weeks old and didn’t have easy access to a bone supply, I didn’t drink meat stock until my health crisis started. Next pregnancy I will have a six-month supply of stock in my freezer before giving birth. If you haven’t read my meat stock/bone broth ingredients list and tips, they’re available here and here. (Husbands, making meat stock for your wife after she gives birth is an excellent way to “love her,” even though I know that’s not what Paul historically meant).
5. That husband you’ve always been so grateful to love and feel romantic with? That smugness that made you think you had a really special marriage because you felt excited to see him every time he came home from work in a way you hadn’t felt since you were a teenager before you met him? Get ready. Romance crashes and burns like a scene from a trite Hollywood action movie when there’s a baby between you.
6. By the time the most difficult postpartum struggles have passed and you think it’s time to rediscover the romance, your toddler will be old enough to insert himself between you and your spouse if you try to hug or kiss just each other.
7. BUT it’s all worth it. That child will be the blessing you didn’t know you needed. He will push and stretch you and make you wonder how you produced something that’s more strong-willed than you yourself are. (I’m predominantly Polish and Italian. I don’t give up and have a temper as hot as the Mediterranean sun. As my husband says, I “have a little bit of hulk in [me].” The fact that my child’s force of will undoes me says something).
8. Looking at his perfect squishy tushy and curiosity that burns brighter than wildfires, you will realize how far humanity has strayed from the perfection of Eden. Kids need correction-yes- of course. But babies are one of the ways God reminds us of what wonders we must have been before The Fall.
(I had a few gems to share about breastfeeding specifically for women that I’ve omitted because my audience has changed in ways I didn’t anticipate when I started this blog. It has been so AMAZING to see people of diverse backgrounds and ages on here, and definitely an unexpected honor and blessing. However, I’m not sure that all my destroyed-due-to-breastfeeding nipple talk is appropriate for such a crowd, so I’m going to save that for my get-together with the girls next week).
I’d like to learn from the wisdom of those who are older/those who may be more experienced in raising kids. What would YOU add to the list? Please let me know in the comments!
Thank you for visiting! Be blessed, tender friends!
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