Happy belated Valentine’s Day, tender friends! I hope that the holiday made you feel loved this week.
Valentine’s Day this year has reminded me of how easy it is to love people in meaningful ways, even without spending a ton of money. Because at the heart of every meaningful gift, no matter your love language, is some measure of time and attention that you give up to commit to loving someone else.
Anthony and I have never been huge gift-givers. But in the earlier days of our marriage, he and I used to buy each other more lavish gifts once in a long while.
One year for Christmas, he bought me diamond earrings, an indulgence that seems unfathomable now. After having kids and raging about the price of diapers when we go to Target, I can’t believe I ever received diamond earrings as a gift. (I actually returned them even though we were in much greater financial abundance at that time… because I’m practical and always have been).
But you know what? It’s totally possible to achieve that special feeling without spending a lot of money. Even though all holidays in the United States are commercialized and have turned into money-making opportunities for a capitalist economy, they can also be a reminder of the simple joys in life.
Take, for example, this card. This was Anthony’s gift to me this year, and it’s perfect.
In the early days of our dating relationship, Anthony hid notes around my room and my car. I loved it. When I went to visit a friend in Colorado for a week, he hid a note in my suitcase telling me how much he loved me and was going to miss me. When I got to my friend’s house and unpacked, I found his note and broke into happy tears.
This past Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, my friend had her kids make Valentine’s Day cards for Cub and other kids at church. This simple heart cut out of construction paper with the message “Happy Valentine’s Day” on it has filled Cub with joy.
He repeatedly takes this Valentine off the counter and asks me to read the words to him. Then asks me where his friend’s name is written where she signed it.
Sometimes we forget how easy it is to make people feel loved. The cost of that piece of construction paper is perhaps a penny, but Cub will probably remember it for years to come.
Anthony read the book “The Five Love Languages” when we were dating, and then I read it too. We talked about how to make each other feel loved, and I’ve tried to remember that as we have gone through marriage. (He loves acts of service, so bringing him a glass of water outside on a hot day makes him happy. I’m a blessed woman to have it so easy in this way).
Today, something strikes me that didn’t occur to me back then. Something all of the love languages have in common is that they require time, even if it’s not immediately apparent.
Quality time obviously requires time, as it is right in the name of the love language.
It also takes time to complete an act of service. It takes time to choose a present for someone, even if that present is just a card.
Even the other love languages require time, even though it’s brief. It takes time to stop doing what you’re busy with and give someone a hug and provide them with physical touch. Even though you can speak a sentence in just a few seconds, it takes time to focus on providing that kind of love to someone in an increasingly busy world.
At the heart of every gift is an investment of time. Those notes my husband used to write for me on scraps of paper took time to think about and write. They cost virtually nothing in a monetary sense but did cost him his time and attention.
This Valentine’s Day has made me commit to spending time helping Cub make Valentine’s Day cards for his friends in years to come. In a crazy world, it’s a blessing that such simple things remain pleasures.
How have you managed to make your spouse or child feel loved through the gift of time? Please let me know in the comments!
Thank you for sharing!
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