In Need of a Warrior King

Hello, tender friends!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how the Jews expected Jesus to be a warrior king that would liberate them from the Romans. But Jesus took a different approach, leaving many Jews disappointed. I get that disappointment.

The Old Testament is bloody and sometimes hard to read, but it can also be exciting, like watching a sporting event and waiting for “your side” to win as you wait for God to swoop in and slay on the battlefield. He doesn’t always slay, the opposing team, even in the OT, but it’s satisfying when he does. The statue of the Philistine deity, Dagon, fell twice, proving Yahweh’s power in a classic male flex (1 Samuel 5:2-5).

Years later, Elijah and the prophets of Baal had a contest in which they both set up an altar with a sacrifice and challenged each another to pray to their God. Whichever God sent consuming fire to burn up the sacrifice proved himself to be the true God. Yahweh flexed again; the prophets of Baal shouted and danced to no avail. But a consuming fire burned up Elijah’s sacrifice, even after he’d drenched the altar in water 3 times.

There are other examples, of course: God parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could flee the Egyptians, then allowed the water to sweep the Egyptians away, the walls of Jericho fell, Gideon’s army of 300 defeated the Midiantes, etc.

I want to see God move like that and vindicate me. I’ve been praying and praying for a long time, but I don’t see any ground being taken. I want God to swoop in and flex on my behalf. It would be so satisfying.

But I don’t think that’s going to happen.

So I’m looking at a different verse right now: I will fight for you, you have only to be still (Exodus 14:14) with the emphasis on being still.

I’m working on being nonreactive in conflict, as I drill down on empowering myself through this affirmation: Even when I feel angry and mistreated, I have control over my emotions. That person’s negative opinion, even if it feels crushing, doesn’t have to rent space in my brain.

My other approach, which has basically been God, can you rain down fire and affliction on that buffoon that just insulted me? hasn’t been working. I’ve been reading about how the demons that work through people love to engage you in conflict and highjack your brain with defensiveness. And basically, by refusing to engage, you starve the demons out.

So when God doesn’t send the warrior king in the way that I wanted, I’m trying to harness my inner warrior Queen…. Queen of walking away and not reacting. Not because I feel wounded and weak, but because I feel empowered by my ability to practice self-control. The biggest flex right now is affirming that myold triggers are less triggering, and I’ve outgrown some of my self-effacement and self-hate. When you love yourself, those fiery darts thrown by the haters don’t burn like they used to.

Okay, that’s all for today, tender friends! Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for sharing!

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