Hello tender friends!
First, allow me to clarify: I’m not twisted enough to think that I personally have any original gems to bestow upon the blogging world about godly parenting. I constantly beg the Holy Spirit to lead me.
But I’m breathing a sigh of relief. I’m not the only one who believes that the Bible is the only book I need to guide my parenting.
Anthony and I attended a marriage and family seminar at our church last week, and I’m so grateful we went!
It was fun to chat with people outside of the rush of church, fun to spend 3.5 straight hours with my husband (Cub was in the childcare at church, and that is the longest period of time we have ever been apart), and validating to review the biblical perspective on parenting.
So much parenting advice is essentially just another deceptive philosophy of the modern age. Like the speaker said, not disciplining your child because your parenting philosophy says that a timeout is going to ruin their life is just not biblical.
While I’m sure there are some great parenting books out there, I think most of them become confusing and a whole lot of distracting noise. In the words of Thoreau, “Simplify. Simplify.”
Let me be clear: there are no guarantees. We do the best we can, we repent when necessary and we love Cub unconditionally, but Anthony and I aren’t perfect. We pray and pray (and pray and pray) that our descendants will follow God all the days of their lives, but we’re also aware (in that terrified way) that sometimes kids go astray no matter how hard you try.
But overall, I repeatedly felt peace throughout the seminar. We’re not doing as bad of a job as we sometimes think.
Here are some of the gems I want to share from the presenter:
Quote #1: “If you love your spouse and your kids knows you love your spouse, you’re giving that child 90 percent of what he or she needs.” YES, YES, YES! Both Anthony and I grew up with parents who didn’t love each other, and we’re intentional about making sure Cub is secure in his mom and dad’s relationship with each other.
As I’ve said before, showing love to people doesn’t have to be complicated. When Anthony wrote this on the driveway one day after work this week and explained to Cub what he was doing, I swooned.
Thank you, husband, for being such a positive role model of what a husband should be for our Cub. I pray he grows up knowing how to make his wife feel loved like you do. (Also, if this post makes it to any single women out there, please know that YOU have been on my heart, and I will write something for you soon. I had to kiss a lot of toads before God brought me my prince).
Quote #2: Follow the example of Jesus by “getting down on their level.” (Phil 2:5-11) This did not come easily to me as a mom initially. I found it hard to be a kid even when I was one myself.
But God, in his infinite grace and wisdom, gave me a husband who had an intuitive understanding of this from the beginning of Cub’s life. One day I watched them playing together when Cub was still very small, and Anthony tickled Cub while he giggled uncontrollably. “He’s better than I am at being playful,” I thought to myself. I became intentional about being playful with Cub from them on.
Whenever I pull into the driveway and Cub is out in the garden with Anthony, he drops what he’s doing and races to sit on my lap before I get out of the car. Then he pretends to drive to different stores, always through “undersea tunnels,” buys his items and then gets back in to drive to the next location.
This always makes me wonder what has happened to our imaginations as adults. Thankfully, God is a redeemer, and one of the ways that he has redeemed my own childhood is through rediscovering my imagination through Cub.
Quote #3: Don’t worry about finding the perfect church for yourself. Attend a church that your kid likes.
We began attending our church because it was one of the first that opened up after the pandemic. Both Anthony and I were waiting for some definitive moment like we both experienced at our home Church where we met and got married that would be “the sign” that we were in the right spot.
We never got any definitive sign at any of the churches we visited. We ended up staying at our church because it seemed like the place Cub was most likely to eventually become comfortable.
It was the right call. Every day, Cub wakes up and asks excitedly, “When are we going to church today, mama? Who do you think will be there today?” I work at the church taking care of the kids during Bible study/different events (I attend my own Bible study a different day and time), and initially did so because I knew how much I valued my own Bible study time and how important it is for other moms.
But Yahweh, being so good, turned it into a blessing for me and Cub. I’m allowed to take him with me, and it has become a time we both look forward to.
If you have any parenting advice you’d like to share, please do so in the comments! I’m much more interested in hearing from real people than reading a parenting book.
Ok, for those of you who are new, welcome and thank you! To plan your readership, I’ll be doing a food post and a healing post next week.
Thank you for stopping by, and have a great day!
Thank you for sharing!
tea and tenderness 
Leave a comment