A night out for us since having Cub is rare, but you know what? Last night was just what I needed and a reminder of how far God has brought me! See that meal? It’s actually not paleo approved, but I was able to eat it with no ill effects.
In case you haven’t read my health history on my homepage, here’s the short version: Three years ago, I was terrified that I wouldn’t have a 35th birthday.
I lay awake, unable to sleep for days on end, fueled by the adrenaline rush of fearing my own death. I started to feel unwell during pregnancy and declined after giving birth. The homepage can lead you through some of the longer version of the story if it interests you.
I had multiple nutritional deficiencies and was waging spiritual war more intense than I’d ever desired to experience. But here I am.
God guided me to believe I’d get better, and I celebrated my 37th birthday in December. Last night’s dinner out was a combination of a late Christmas/birthday celebration.
There are very few local restaurants that serve organic, farm-to-table, local food. Actually, this restaurant is the only place we have eaten since moving to SW Virginia in the United States three years ago. So this is a TREAT for all of us, including Anthony and Cub.
I still follow a mostly paleo diet, probably around 95%. But last night, I ate that hummus with my dinner with a few bites of rice.
When I did a diet called the GAPS diet for a few months as part of my healing, both hummus and rice were off limits. I subsisted on pasture-raised meat, organ meats like liver, vegetables from our garden, and meat stock.
I felt amazing while on the GAPS diet, and no- I actually never felt deprived even though most people think that. I felt the most nourished I’ve ever been.
But part of “coming off” of that diet is reincorporating some non-GAPS foods as you heal to see how your body handles them. And while I don’t want to play with fire and start eating carbs all willy-nilly, last night was a reminder that my body has healed tremendously. I ate foods I once would not have dared to…and I felt wonderful.
For that, I am immeasurably grateful. I was happy and satisfied after eating. Satisfied because my stomach was full and my heart even more so.
From the darkest pit of despair, everyone can heal. If I did it, you can do it too. I’m not special, and I believe Jesus wants to heal you too, those of you reading this who need it.
I know that there are people who don’t heal. I have buried my friends’ parents and wondered why I didn’t have to face that when my own mother was sick with cancer. I can’t answer why that is, but I held my own palms open when God offered me an alternate outcome.
There are tons of theologians who have varying views on why people get sick, if God wants them sick, if sickness is related to sin, etc. I’m not a theologian, but I will detail in another post when I first knew God wanted to heal me and wasn’t punishing me with illness.
A short time after that revelation that God intended to heal me, I asked for confirmation. This is the verse God gave me when I asked for that confirmation, with an open and earnest heart.
John 9:1-3
1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”
Only you can work through your healing with God, and I am obviously not privy to your conversations with him. But I believe that God healed me, in part, because He is currently displaying his work in my life. You and your life are no different.
Deep in my soul, I believe there is someone who needs to hear this and believe: God will heal you too. As some of the people I deeply respect who have produced documentaries on healing have said: “As long as you have breath, you have hope.”
You are destined to something beautiful. I believe that with all I am.
Thank you for reading, and be blessed!
If God has healed you of anything, please let me know in the comments!
Thank you for sharing!
tea and tenderness 
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